Tag Archives: portcullis

05-01-2017 – Another Noo Year

Happy New  Year, folks!

We hope you all had a spanktastic festive season, we certainly did…

Gig reports (as far as I can remember them) are suitably cheery – just before Christmas we played the Farmhouse in Yate, which turned out to be a rather better night than anticipated, thanks to a fairly solid cohort of slightly bonkers locals – including one fine lady, whose name alas I have forgotten, who was something of an urban hairdresser – a “street stylist”, if you will – she spent much of the evening unaccountably weaving plaits into the hair of various other members of the clientèle, and when she spotted Ben’s flowing tresses, her face lit up with an evil grin. READ MORE

23-12-2016 – Lil Deps

Ahoy there shipmates!

Well, Friday at the ‘Cullis was an interesting evening. We arrived to find that the pub has changed hands since we were last here, and they’ve done it up a bit. In fact, there’s even a nice little drum riser, which should nicely enhance our professional rawk’n’roll credibility. And now that I’ve got my new amp back from the doctors, I have an impressive six-foot high stack of backline, which I think also helps to substantially enhance our professional rawk’n’roll credibility. READ MORE

12-12-2016 – And now …

Hey gang…

I’d like to apologise for last week’s intro to this little missive, in which you were all exhorted to “deck the halls with bowls of jelly” – I have been corrected by some of my more Viking-orientated correspondents, and we apparently should in fact have been encouraging you all to

“Deck the halls with the blood of your enemies”.



I trust that one’s sorted out now. Also, apologies that this one is coming to you all a little later in the day than was intended, there was a minor mishap with an airplane and a fog bank which meant I couldn’t actually get to a laptop until mid-afternoon, despite having crawled out of bed at the unholy hour of 5am. I must stress that this was clearly not my fault, I don’t control fog – I only do lightning. READ MORE

16-11-2015 – Tortured and Tigger

Hey guys

Well another weekend, and I’m still not dead. Came pretty close, though…

After starting to feel fairly rough at the end of last week, I awoke on Saturday morning to find that during the night, somebody had removed both my lungs, and replaced them with a pair of black bin bags, which had been filled with raw sewage and cement dust and left out in the rain for a week. Not content with this, they had also set fire to my throat lining, put it out with a cricket bat, and tried to hide any evidence by removing the surface layers with a cheese grater. In addition, each of my eyeballs had been temporarily removed with a chisel and, after being used for a vigorous game of ping-pong, were soaked in vinegar before replacing them back in their sockets, using a hammer. READ MORE

09-11-2015 – Rock n’ Roll Chocolate

Ah, there you, 007. Take a seat, and listen carefully…

Another slightly mad weekend, starting in the Trout up in sunny Keynsham; after a fairly quiet start, by the end of the first set, the place was livening up nicely; a shame, then, that I somehow completely forgot how to play the intro to the last song of the first set.

“Oh, f**k”, I tell Ben, “It’s gone. I have no idea how it goes. Complete blank. Can’t even guess”

“Just make something up, then” he sagely advises.

So I do; and we get clean away with it. This rock’n’roll stuff turns out to be rather easy, as long as you don’t worry about getting it right. READ MORE

05-01-2015 – The Life Cycle Of The Breville Toasted Sandwich Maker

..And a Happy New Year to all our readers!

This morning, driving in to work, I was rather perturbed to see that – even though it’s still some 353 days until Christmas – some people have got their decorations up already!

Still, we hope you all had a lovely time eating and drinking to excess; plus whatever else takes your fancy, of course.

We certainly enjoyed the break, we even managed to squeeze in a few gigs – including a jolly evening in the Portcullis in Fishponds just after Christmas; where, because Lou had texted me earlier complaining of a chest infection and warning that she wasn’t sure her voice would last the night, as a precaution I took along our emergency spare band – the erratically mighty Polar Bear Cheese Pirates From Outer Space. In the event, Lou’s voice held out fine, but since Dem’s folks had turned out to see us, we put the kids on as well anyway. (I have finally arrived at the conclusion that the real reason folks are so fond of their grandchildren is because they know that they are putting their parents through exactly the same trauma and exasperation as the parents put the grandparents through years before. Which I am sure is the only reason why my offspring seemed to get louder applause than AUF did…). READ MORE

08-09-2014 – City Dolls & Slackers

Evenin’ all!

Hope you all had a spanktastic weekend; we certainly had fun a-plenty on Saturday at the ‘Cullis in Fishponds. We managed to catch up with several old pals, recruited the loveliest roadie in Bristol, and we managed to play a Blondie number all at the same time, and even all in the same key for a change.

We even got free half-time entertainment, with Lou and her City Dolls singer Kirsty providing half-time entertainment, while the rest of us slackers got on with some serious lounging about. So nice to let somebody else do all the hard work for a bit; even nicer to actually be able to listen to Lou’s singing without having to concentrate on where to put my fingers. READ MORE

01-09-2014 – No Ram

Yo homeys!

Just a quickie this week; no change there then.

Firstly, apologies to anybody who came along to see us on Friday at the Ram on Park Street; we weren’t there. Due to a pub management change-related booking cockup hilarity, they had no idea we were coming; until mid-afternoon, when somebody phoned them to ask what time the band was starting tonight.

“Band…? Tonight…?”

So, the pub called us, explained they actually didn’t need us that night, but rather kindly said they’d sort something out and promised to book us in again some other time. READ MORE

02-06-2014 – Ride Of Respect

Yo homeys!

Well, that was a rip-roaring entertaining weekend!

Firstly, a massive thanks to our pal Anne for inviting us to play at this year’s Ride Of Respect in Abingdon; having worked for months to organise the whole event, we think she deserves a rest now, but is unlikely to get one…

We’d arranged to play the Saturday night gig (for all the riders, stewards, and various other ne’er-do-wells who camped over the night before), and camp over ourselves, too – meaning no tiresome staying-sober-enough-to-drive-home was needed. So, with malice aforethought, Ben and I stashed as much beer and cider as we could shoehorn into the vehicles in between amplifiers, carefully trying to avoid remembering we would have to be up and setting up equipment again at 7:30 the next morning. READ MORE