Tag Archives: golden fleece

27-11-2019 – Water Adendum

Hi all

Late news coming in this week – Friday’s gig at the Lamb in Cadbury Heath is unfortunately CANCELLED.

Apparently the pub has issues with their water end electrics.

This is a highly undesirable combination; I can personally attest that mains is ouchy if you get it up you.

There are unconfirmed rumours that what actually happened is that, having heard we’re coming, the captain deliberately opened the bilge doors and scuttled the pub to avoid it falling into enemy hands.

In any case – we shan’t be going back there until things have dried out somewhat. READ MORE

18-11-2019 – String Plank Frenzy

Greetings, my little peccadilloes.

And a warm welcome to this week’s missive, keeping you updated with all that’s good in the world of rawk’n’roll. And as I don’t know what happened there this week, I’ll tell you instead about what we did.

Saturday night, and a lovely jaunt to the Golden Fleece in Bath, where we met most of the usual regulars there (including their resident uncanny Michael Palin doppelganger), and also the delightful Louise, for whom we played a birthday party last year, who had come out especially to see us (and not even to ask for her money back). READ MORE

11-11-2019 – Whippets

Aye up!

Right, then, lad, wi’ no gigs t’report on, this’ll be a short’un.’Appen.

Er – I’m afraid that’s my entire stock of cheery Northern witticisms used up, except that there’s something about whippets, but I really don’t recall the details.

Never mind. Although somebody did mention this week, whilst idly gazing at a box of Yorkshire tea while the kettle was boiling, that despite having been to Yorkshire several times over the years, she “never did recall seeing any of the plantations”, which rather made me chuckle. READ MORE

08-07-2019 – Iambic Pentameter

Howdy pardners!

I did – until five minutes ago have written for you probably the best one of these blogs I’ve ever created – a masterpiece of witty prose and profound insights.

Unfortunately, just as I was signing off at the end, my laptop decided to choose that moment to randomly crash, and lost everything.

And, yes, smug IT geeks – I had been saving the file as I went along, but for some arcane software reason which I have no interest in understanding, the saved file was all naughtily corrupted. READ MORE

01-07-2019 – The Tall And Short Of It


And, after a very busy Friday, we dragged ourselves over to Hanham to find the Cross Keys, which turned out to be a jovial little pub with such a low ceiling that even Emma had to forgo her usual bouncing around – although to be fair, it was so hot that there was little enough appetite for that – although the punters they did manage a spirited attempt at jigging about, bless ’em.

We even made one chap very happy by being the only band who’d ever been able respond to his “D’you lot know any Queens Of The Stone Age?” demand with a “Er.. mutter, mutter, mumble, mumble… Yes, we think we can still remember one…” and actually – rather to our surprise – we could. So that was one very happy camper. READ MORE

09-04-2018 – Blood!

Top o’ the mornin’ to ye!

Well, another three-gig weekend, there really is no rest for the wicked, and we have clearly been very naughty indeed…

Friday at the Back Bar in Weston was rather good fun – we were warned that apparently sometimes it gets really busy, sometimes it doesn’t – and this turned out to be one of the “doesn’t” nights – still, we had a good giggle, and everybody that was there seemed to be thoroughly enjoying themselves, so that’s all right then.

And this despite clumsy Alan having sabotaged himself earlier in the day…

Unbeknownst to me, helpful daughter Lil had decided to sharpen all the knives in the kitchen on Friday. I found out, though, when making dinner – I pretty much sliced the end off a finger.

Happily it was on my right hand, so I figured it wouldn’t affect my playing – until I got to one of those right-handed Eddie-Van-Halen-style-showoff-hammer-on solos at which point I suddenly remembered. Ouchie.

It did make rather a mess, though – I have subsequently found blood spattered on my guitar, amp, leads, equipment cases, and – inexplicably, van windscreen. Although maybe I just ran somebody over and didn’t notice.

Saturday at the Golden Fleece was definitely a more vigorous affair; having spent an hour or so during the day applying my soldering iron to the wiring on Ben’s bass it was back up to full functionality; unfortunately I couldn’t do anything about his voice – which has almost completely disappeared due to the ongoing infestations currently plaguing most of the band.

I’m not saying I wasn’t prepared to have a go, but for some reason he seemed very much against the idea of me opening up his chest cavity to check for loose wiring.

Thus it was that had to rely on the crowd for her backing vocals, a task to which they rose admirably. We noticed one particularly enthusiastic, and rather attractive, young lady, whose dancing intruded onto the stage several times.

Mid-song, she bellows into Emma’s ear “I love you!”

“Well, that’s nice, sweetheart, and I love you too” replies Em diplomatically.

“No, you don’t understand”, replies the young lovely, gazing deep into Emma’s left ear. “I REALLY love you”.

“O-kay, well, thank you very much..” answers a slightly nonplussed Emma.

Five minutes later, the young lady in question – who we are beginning to suspect may have been drinking – suddenly collapses into a chair and passes out.

She manages to sleep right through the second half of “Sweet Child Of Mine” – which is no mean feat, it’s a bit noisy – and we become slightly concerned for her safety. Em captured the two sides of the scene rather well…

Golden Fleece

Golden Fleece

Dutifully, as we play the last few numbers, to check on her health, I make sure she’s still breathing by keeping a close eye on the rhythmic rising and falling of her breasts.

Between each song, I relay the health monitor status to Emma.

“They’re still rising and falling”

“Good stuff, keep watching”.

“Yup, still going”

“Excellent. By the way, have you named them yet?”

This thought had not occurred to me.

“Er… no. But I have chosen a favourite one”

“Which one?”

“The nearest one. Actually, I know, I’ll call them both Barbara, to avoid confusion”

“Good call. Are they still going up and down?”

“Oh, yes, no problem”

Finally we run out of encores to play, and the young lady’s friends finish dancing, and scoop her up to take her home. Fondly we wave her and the Barbaras goodbye.

As expected, Sunday afternoon at the Bulldog in Filton was a rather more subdued affair, enlivened only by a chap who kept on coming to stand right in front of the stage, sticking his fingers in his ears, and mouthing the words “It’s too loud” at us. At first I thought he was actually expressing an opinion, but after third time, when he stood right in front of the speakers for a full five minutes doing this, I realised that this was in fact what in his world passes for witty repartee – and having found something which amused him, he was reluctant to let it go; in fact, it seemed to keep him happy for a full two hours.

Takes all sorts, I suppose…

Anyway – no gigs coming up this weekend, so with a bit of luck, by the time we get there, we might actually have everybody fit and well.

We shall see…

Square on

04-04-2018 – Easter, Was It?

Well hello, my little spring chickens!

We hope you had a pleasant Easter weekend, that time of year when we all reflect sombrely on how Our Lord Jesus Christ died for our sins, and then came back from dead to hop around the countryside with a basket of chocolate eggs to distribute amongst the children. Or something like that, anyway – I didn’t really pay attention in school.

Well, it was certainly a busy weekend from the rawk’n’roll point of view; Friday’s jaunt to the Air Balloon in Filton turned out to be very lively indeed – so much so that at least some of the regulars have earned themselves the epithet “Air Balloonies”. They didn’t even seem to mind that at least some of us (okay, me) were playing in a particularly ham-fisted fashion. In my defence, I’d just driven up from deepest darkest Devon, had hardly slept, and was sporting a particularly nasty head cold… nonetheless, you’d think I’d know where at least some of the chords are wouldn’t you…

Saturday at the Sandringham in Downend was a rather less vigorous affair; possibly at least partly because they’d apparently forgotten we were coming. Nonetheless, we had an entertaining night, a few chums turned up, and a 21st birthday coterie kept the dancey side of things going rather well. You could tell they were too nice, though – when a glass dropped and smashed on the floor, they all stopped immediately to help pick up the pieces and mop up the mess before continuing. Most places we play, when that happens there’s a brief cheer, and everybody just carries on dancing in the beery shrapnel regardless.

Sunday afternoon, and Weston Ex-Services club turns out to be an absolute delight – there’s enough space for a bit of prancing around, and the crowd are lovely, and very appreciative – particularly in the drinks-buying department (which, incidentally, is always very well-received amongst the muso fraternity – so if you ever see band you rather enjoy, please offer to buy them a beer. Particularly if they’re us).

Coming up next week – busy again, and it looks like it’s going to be a bit of a roller coaster ride of excitement…

Friday 6th – Back Bar, Weston Super Mare
Love playing here, haven’t been for a while, but there’s a proper stage with a drum riser, a rather potent house PA (so we don’t have to worry about setting ours up), and generally it’s a great fun gig. Oh, and everybody there is usually pissed. One time we played here, in mid-September, there was a whole group dressed as pirates, having mock cutlass fights at the front of the stage. We asked them if they knew that they’d got the date wrong, and that Talk Like A Pirate Day had in fact been the previous weekend.

“We know”, they shouted back. “We haven’t been home yet.”


Saturday 7th – Golden Fleece, Bath
Lovely little bikery pub, we might have to wheel out a healthy dose of the rocky stuff here. Oh dearie me, how will we cope…?  

Sunday 8th – Bulldog, Filton – 4pm start
They seem to like us in here, despite the fact that what we play seems rather at odds with their juke box selections – which seem to consist of a 50/50 mix of Johnny Cash and Benny Hill. Oh well, as long as they’re happy. And I haven’t listened to “Ernie” for ages…

Right, thas’ your lot for now

Square on

04-09-2017 – Goat Thing Beard

Howdy pardners

Well, that was a rootin’-tootin’ mighty fine weekend of rawk’n’roll, and…

…oh, bollocks to it, I’m bored with the cowboy voice already.

Suffice to say another spiffing pair of gigs at the weekend, with much jolly singing and dancing from the audiences, and much titting about, moments of sheer musical brilliance interspersed with episodes of titanic incompetence from the band, and a certain amount of dressing up.

Emma and I are still bemused as to why wearing a comedy false beard should make your sunglasses steam up. Although, to be fair, not as bemused as the innocent girl who walked into the pub to be greeted by the following sight (I promise, there IS a logical reason for it!) and let out an involuntary shriek of horror….

Emma & Beard

And another fine weekend looming;

Friday 8th – GOATFEST!!!
A brilliant local festival in the tiny village of Goatacre, near Calne, last year this was one of our favourite gigs to play. Lovely stage (not one, but TWO flatbed trailers), excellent PA superbly engineered by our old buddy Brian from Swindon, and an exceedingly jolly crowd. Last year Rosa had the whole field doing star jumps; I’m still not sure why – but they did it. Pressure’s on Emma to top that one…

Saturday 9th – Golf Club Private do
Last time we did a golf club bash, it was much more fun than we expected. So now we’re expecting this one to be even more fun than we expected, even though we’re expecting it to be more fun than we would have expected had we not been expecting it to be more fun.

Alles klar?

Right, I realise that was a bit shorter than usual, but I has a busy week ahead, trying to think of goat-related song puns to put in the setlist.

I may regret saying this, but – suggestions welcome…?

Square on

30-08-2017 – Rampant Pickle

Yo homeys!

Well, we hope you enjoyed the long weekend as much as we did – but we bet you didn’t!

We kicked off with a pleasant evening in the Assembly Inn in Bath; the Gods Of Parking smiled on us and we were able park right outside the door, in the last two parking spaces left in Bath. Setting up in the small space was easier than last time we were here, partly as I cunningly left a couple of speaker cabinets at home, but mostly because we knew already which bits of the floor were in fact treacherously unstable and hence not safe for putting anything heavy on. We played, they shouted for more, but we’d hit the neighbour noise curfew so we legged it off home for some beer. The night was also memorable for being the first time Emma realised what Ben and I are actually singing to the chorus of “I Love Rock and Roll”. Lucky she keeps an inhaler handy, really.

Saturday afternoon, and a last minute booking filling an outdoor gig slot at the Queen Vic’s Beer & Music Festival – a thoroughly delightful affair. I was particularly excited to see our lovely pals John & Anne there, with young Adam & his Emma (see – everybody wants one now); not just because they helped carry all the kit in, but because, since I had son #3 Joe, (the bass playing one) with me, we were finally able to pay off an old debt.

See, a few years ago we played John’s birthday party, and he’d requested we play a Deep Purple tune for him. As we couldn’t fit in a rehearsal in time, we never did – but now, with the song already in the Polar Bear Cheese Pirates set, and armed with Joe on bass, freeing up Ben to sing it, and Stuart masterfully blagging his way through thanks to a quick listen to the original track between sets, we were finally able to deliver the goods.

Better late than never, eh?

Saturday night, and off to the Messenger in Swindon, where there were no trousers removed this time, no fighting, and not even a hint of good-natured vomiting. However, to make up for my disappointment, they DID have a six-foot tall inflatable snowman, advising the clientele (I can’t help but feel somewhat prematurely) to “book early for Christmas dinner”.

Sadly, I didn’t get a photo of this, but I swear it’s true.

I did, however, get some photos of our kit all set up, ready for action, in front of the gigantic projector screen which the pub was using to entice its patrons to buy more food. There were a whole series of pictures of tasty-looking dishes, flashing up at random every few moments. This was my favourite – note how the “cheeky pickle” is artfully mirrored by the careful placement of Stuart’s cymbal…


Other items to note in this photo:-

1. Pickle Rampant
2. Terrifying carpet
3. Random flashing hairpiece applied to front of drumkit (now permanent fixture, at Emma’s insistence)
4. Pretty flowers wrapped round Ben’s mike stand (ditto)
5. Beauteous Musical Instrument
6. My amp stack is taller than Ben’s…

Sunday night, and it was back to Swindon for a bash at the Woodland’s Edge. A pretty quiet night, due to the locals all being exhausted having stayed up in the pub all the previous night to watch the boxing on telly – and then, apparently, to have a fight themselves out in the car park at 6:30 am. Silly boys…

Nonetheless, it was good to see some old chums turn up, and there was a pleasing amount of mad women dancing about, so we’ll call that one a result, I think.

Coming up this week – a mere two gigs…

Friday 1st Sep – Blue Lagoon, Gloucester Rd
Very lively in here. Very lively indeed.

Saturday 2nd – Golden Fleece, Bath
Nice little bikercentric pub. I think for this one we’ll probably serve up a night leaning heavily in the rockier direction. And quite right too!

And that, I think, my friends, is that.

Square on

14-03-2016 – Rambling On

[Editor’s note: Ok, ok, the picture has nothing to do with this week’s Angel UpDate but, hey everyone loves fluffy kittens … don’t they?]

Hello darkness, my old friend…

Well, hello to The Darkness, anyway – can’t beat a bit of OTT classic rock pastiche, can ya?

Another rock’n’roll rollercoaster ride this weekend – starting with a slightly bizarre episode in which a very dear and fabulous friend of mine, without warning, suddenly (and I feel, unnecessarily cheerfully) turns down my non-existent proposal of wedlock…

“No”, she says, “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to marry you”.

Puzzled, I carefully scan my short-term memory, just in case I’ve not being paying attention to the conversation up to this point – but no, there is absolutely nothing on this, or any related subject.

“Besides”, she smiles “You’re already happy being married to Dem, so you don’t need me as well.”

I am, for once, lost for words… although I actually couldn’t help feeling rather hurt, somehow…

We have ended up (I think) with an amicable compromise whereby I notionally remain married to my wonderful Dem, unless my lovely friend happens to be making something nicer for dinner that night…

You ever find yourself in conversations that suddenly bound away in random directions into some cosmic surreal wilderness, like a small puppy let loose in a spring meadow full of butterflies, that can’t decide which one to chase? Or is it just me?

Still, let’s get down to the serious business of rawk’n’roll, shall we?

Saturday night, and deep in the heart of a shiny new housing estate in Midsomer Norton, is tucked away Mardon’s Social Club, where they have a large room, nice little stage, their own in-house lighting rig, and bottles of Gem behind the bar.

Even better, they have lovely friendly welcoming staff, and a “free drinks for musicians” policy.

“We’ll be coming back here again” Ben informs Stuart, before being reminded that we do have to actually play some music while we’re here.

After the first set, we head up to the bar so they can be nice to us.

For Rosa, even better than free drinks, they have a wide range of sweeties behind the bar, and when she asks, it transpires that these too are available free of charge to performers (although I doubt if anybody has actually asked before). Rosa’s sparkly eyes light up like there are fireworks inside her head. Which, just at this moment, there probably are; she is, in a very literal sense, just like a little kid in a sweetshop. A sweetshop with free sweets.

“What can I get for you?” asks the smiling lady behind the bar.

Too excited to talk coherently, Rosa points at a box containing some strange bright red tube-like confectionery.

“You mean these ones?”

Rosa nods.

“And how many would you like?” smiles the nice lady

“…How many am I allowed?” asks Rosa coyly.

In the end, a large fistful of them changes hands, along with a big glass of fizzy pop, and we carefully escort Rosa to a comfy corner where she can bounce around without too much risk of damaging something expensive.

The locals seem well pleased with our musical efforts, but after finishing the second set we only have time for one encore before we hit the noise curfew, and stumble off to collapse in a cheerful heap and catch our breath.

As we’re starting to pack up, the lovely bar lady returns. Would we like some more beer?

Well, we’d love to, that’s very kind, but we have to drive, you see…

She returns, still smiling, two minutes later, with half a dozen bottles, with the tops thoughtfully still on, so we can take them home with us.

“Thank you, that’s very kind”, says Stuart

“Oooh, lovely, thanks”, says Ben

“Will you marry me?” says I, before I can stop myself…

Well, there you go, folks – that makes it two rejections in one weekend. A personal best, I think…

So, we load up the kit, peel Rosa off the ceiling and tuck her safely into the car, and head off into the night…

Coming up this week – oh, another dream gig…

Saturday 19th – Royal Oak, Horfield – Pie and Ale Festival
Pies? – Check
Ale? – Check
Festival? – Check

These are a few of my favourite things. Nuff said.

Square on