Tag Archives: cider press

28-03-2019 – Late Door Slap

Blessings be upon you, my children…

Well, the sun has come out, spring is beginning to do springy things with an admirable degree of enthusiasm, and there appears to be a glimmer of hope on the horizon that a significant proportion of the country would perhaps, on sober consideration, prefer to not shoot themselves in the bollocks after all – so what could improve things more than a nice lively Angel Up Front gig on a Saturday night?

Well, for a start, a nice lively Angel Up Front gig on a Saturday night which doesn’t involve Alan marching at full tilt face-first into a closed door whilst loading the kit in, that would have been an improvement… READ MORE

18-03-2019 – Fantasy Special

Howdy!

Well, after a weekend off from the vagaries of the rawk’n’roll treadmill, we have just the one gig coming up this weekend, so all of our not-inconsiderable powers will be focussed with laser-like precision on that one performance.

I can tell you, folks, this is going to be be an intense, once-in-a-lifetime, not-to-be-missed experience! This will be a gig that, in years to come, people will be telling their grandchildren about; “Oh, I was actually there”, they’ll be saying, all misty-eyed, “I was actually there on that night, the night that rock’n’roll changed the world forever…” READ MORE

24-09-2018 – Let’s Go To Beer

Ahoy there shipmates!

Despite the stormy conditions this weekend, we managed to steer the good ship Angel Up Front safely through another couple of gigs. Poor Cap’n Emma was suffering from a nasty tropical disease (contracted in the equatorial paradise that is Wales), so the rest of the crew had to treat her rather more gently than usual. As a result, Friday’s gig at the Railway Tavern was slightly less raucous than expected – although we did well enough that the pub kindly gave us a crate of potatoes at the end of the night. And some money as well, which was nice.

Saturday at the Cider Press in Bishopston was a much more lively affair; despite me rolling up in a fairly advanced state of “Oh God, I’m so tired, can’t I just go home to bed now?”, I was immediately cheered by the lovely door staff, who insisted on unloading the van and hauling all the kit in for me. Bless ‘em! By the time everybody else arrived and the kit was set up, I was feeling rather chirpy. Just as well, since we were having a rare visit from both my sister, and brother, plus two lovely nieces, my beloved Dem and talented daughter Lil.

And, a mighty riotous night it turned out to be. As it’s quite a large place, we were able to turn everything up to “proper” volumes, which makes it much easier to enjoy ourselves. There was much singing along and dancing about, and I believe the audience rather enjoyed themselves as well. There were certainly some magnificent displays of Dad Dancing going on.

Em was pleased to be able to hand over some of the vocal duties to Lil, and we ended up carrying on until sometime past midnight, by which point I really was ready for bed beer.

Finally we got everything squashed into the soggy van, and careered off into the rainy night.

And so to bed beer.

Coming up next weekend – a private function, a birthday party in fact. Hopefully with beer.

Meanwhile…

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of university, “And what starting salary are you looking for?”

The graduate replies, “In the region of £45,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”

The interviewer inquires, “Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks paid holiday, full medical and dental insurance, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Porsche?”

The engineer sits up straight and says, “Wow! Are you kidding?”

The interviewer replies, “Yes, but you started it.”

Square on
A

17-09-2018 – Fried Hippy Mobius Strips

Yo homies!

Well, we have no gigging to report on this weekend – apart from a rather excellent night Stuart and I had with our sloppy prog outfit the All Night Chemists, up at the delightful Folly Inn in Napton, near Warwick. Lovely pub, in the middle of nowhere but right by the canal, and hence host to a whole fleet of hippies in narrowboats.

Quite a way to go for a gig, but it was well worth it – a private function for one of singer Rich’s fellow boating chums, a lovely setting, and as we were the beneficiaries of Rich’s hospitality for the night – no need to drive home after the gig.

Hurrah, this means a rare night of drinking!

As we’d cunningly arranged to not be the last band on, we were able to stay reasonably coherent for our set… and then, once we’d packed all the kit away, we could concentrate on not being coherent at all anymore.

A lovely night indeed. Following a therapeutic fried breakfast, and a substantial quantity of tea, we were pronounced fit to attempt to drive home again.

I really should do this kind of thing more often.

Coming up this weekend, the mighty Angel Up Front rock’n’roll machine is wheeling back into action with a couple of Bristol dates…

Friday 21st – Railway Tavern, Fishponds
The dear ol’ Railway Tav – no longer the home of our beloved Queen Amy, this will be the first time we’ve actually managed to play for the new owners, as the previous booking was abandoned due to undriveable snow conditions. Very much looking forward to this one.

Saturday 22nd – Cider Press, Bishopston
Just down the road from Emma’s gaffe, so we are expecting a significant number of her delightfully insane chums to be in attendance. If not, there are plenty of other maniacs wandering about the Gloucester Road on a Saturday night. Some of them are bound to come in to entertain us.

No jokes in the cupboard this week, as I used them all up on Saturday night, along with my meagre supplies of brain cells.

So, instead, a conundrum: –

Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?

Square on
A

06-03-2018 – EMMAGEDDON!!!

Yowsa!

Well folks, I’m not sure if that was a terrible weekend, or a great one.

Terrible, because – and apologies to anybody who tried to come along to see us on Friday – we had to cancel, because my road, which features an admittedly gentle incline, was made totally impassable by a hefty wodge of white snowy stuff. I watched out the window as several of my neighbours made heroic, but utterly doomed attempts, to get their cars out, before abandoning them somewhere near the curb.

So – sorry ‘bout that folks, we hate to cancel gigs (not just ‘cause we need the money, either!), but there really was no way we could have made that one without a team of huskies.

I don’t have a team of huskies. I do have a small force of clockwork penguins at my disposal, but at 2 inches high, their load-carrying capacity is minimal, so reluctantly we had to give up on that one.

On the other hand, the inclement weather did provoke the following Storm Emma headline in dreadful rag the Super Soaraway Sun: –

“Emmageddon”.

We’re keeping that.

Saturday dawned fair and bright, and a welcome thaw had set in, so we figured we’d have no trouble getting to the gig this time. As my van – left with my local garage the day before, and still trapped down there – was u/s, I commandeered Ben to drive up to mine, and after a little head-scratching and unaccustomed cogitation, we managed to squeeze in just enough kit to play a gig shared between his car and Dem’s.

I was still feeling pretty damned terrible from the Kitten Lung, and Ben wasn’t much better; but we got to the Huntsman without incident, and, paddling through the slush, hauled the kit inside. Inside the pub, as is traditional in colder weather, it was heated to furnace-like temperatures, but we managed to get everything set up and working without anyone passing out.

I’m delighted to see some chums of mine from work in attendance, and even more pleased to see three of them are sporting checked shirts. Now, if only we had some comedy cowboy hats…Oooh look, what’s this in the toy box?

About three songs in, it’s time to play something suitable rednecky, and Em runs out to force them to wear the humiliating headgear. Aren’t we kind?

It’s a Slightly odd evening, the audience is generally appreciative, and includes at least one almost too-enthusiastic young lady, dancing and leaping and bounding around with gay abandon right in front of us. I got worn out just watching her.

We’d forgotten that there’s a music curfew, and so we have to cut out a couple of numbers out of the second set; but we still manage to play fifteen minutes over… nobody seemed to mind.

We’re also delighted to find our charming pal Tiff in attendance; she comes up and plays a guest spot on bass during All Right Now – I’d forgotten we used to get folks up to do that – and have a nice chat with her afterwards. She not seen Em sing with us before, so I introduce them…

“Em, this is our lovely friend Tiff. Tiff, this is…… EMMAGEDDON!!!”

“Emma Geddon? Your name is actually Emma Geddon? Oh my god, that’s brilliant!”

Em looks at me helplessly. We’re both too tired to explain, so we roll with it.

“Yes, that’s right, Emma Geddon…”

A fairly efficient packing up, a wading through the slush to load the cars back up again, and then it’s off into the night.

So – no gigs booked this weekend, but just maybe time to shake off the horrible Kitten Lung ailments, and perhaps even whatever malady has been ailing my poor little van.

Finger crossed, y’all…

Square on
A

27-02-2018 – Better Than Dead (will it Never End?)

Greetings my friends, from the Netherworld Of The Undead…

Yes, I’m afraid yours truly is still feeling somewhat poorly, with the dread Kitten Lung disease having tightened its grip, and our poor Ben doesn’t seem to be much better either… things were not boding particularly well for our appearance at the Cider Press on Saturday night.

Happily our beloved Em is back to full strength, and gamely copes with everything on our behalf; thus it is that, when Ben’s bass mysteriously dies during the first song, she heroically distracts the audience and, by finding somebody in the house with a birthday, keeps everyone entertained for long enough for Ben to bully his kit back to life.

Similarly, in the second set, she manages – in concert with some very deft work from the security team – to keep control of a herd of “young” “ladies”*, and prevent them from treading on too much expensive equipment as they desperately try to be part of the focus of attention.

In fact, we survived the entire night without significant mishap, and when somebody called out for an Abba encore, we even managed to cook up a passable impromptu version of it. With some unnecessary widdly guitar bits and a bass solo in, natch. We may be ill, but your favourite spank-plankers can still pull off some needless fretwankery if the opportunity arises…

Coming up this weekend – assuming that neither Ben or myself opt to take the easy way out and die in the meantime – a “normal” weekend, two gigs, both handily in Bristol…

Friday 2nd March – Railway Tavern, Fishponds
We’ve played here many a time, but this will be the first occasion not under the watchful eye of (now- ex-landlady) Queen Amy; she tells us that the new proprietors are “lovely”, which is nice. We’ll just have to hope they also have an unusually high tolerance for idiotic musos. Just in case any should turn up…

Saturday 3rd March – Huntsman, Westerleigh Road
It’s mostly a food pub, this one, but they do seem rather fond of their live music as well. We quite like it too, as it’s a very short distance from the back of the van to where we set up; and there’s enough room for a bit of a prance around, all in full view of the cake display. Prancing in front of cakes – what could be more delightful on a Saturday night?

Right, that’s it for this week – I’m off to actually seek medical attention**, as I’ve been told if I keep coughing like that I won’t be allowed in the house any more. Which would be rather a shame, I think, as it’s where we keep the food…

Square on
A

*This will probably get edited out, but it looked to me very much like the Jerry Springer Audience Chapter of —— ——–’ Night Out…

**I’ve actually done this now. “Take one these, three times a day. That should fix it, nothing to worry about. Oh, and if you’re not better in two weeks, come back and see me immediately, you’ve got cancer”.

I just have to hope Dem doesn’t find out – if I were to get better after she’s got her hopes up and spent ages filling out all those insurance forms, she’ll be so angry….

19-02-2018 – The Vortex

Greetings, my little ones; may a bounteous cornucopia of boundless joy be upon you.

And phlegm. I still have plenty of phlegm left, if anybody wants some.

And this, despite barking up copious quantities of the stuff at Friday’s gig in Marlborough. Happily though, our beloved Emma is MUCH better the previously, and got through two sets without distress. I, on the other hand, nearly died a couple of times, albeit mostly this was due to choking on laughter at my band mates shenanigans and / or musical mishaps.

The pub was fairly quiet at first, so we set about amusing ourselves, and fairly soon there were quite a few who came over to watch us make fools of ourselves. (I mean, obviously they were mainly impressed by the artistry and musical prowess, I’m sure they weren’t at all impressed by the mucking about with silly hats…).

All in all, a jolly fine evening for everybody involved, followed by an amusing trip home via The Vortex (as anybody who drives it regularly will know, that stretch of the M4 betwixt Swindon and Chippenham takes several days to traverse, despite the fact that only fifteen minutes have elapsed on the clock. It’s a kind of Time Tunnel type thing – I suspect a by-product of Swindon being approximately twenty years behind the rest of the UK – and we think due to a wormhole in the space-time continuum. Although Emma and I demand to be told why they’re always called wormholes, as opposed to any other kind of hole… Rabbit holes would be better, conjuring up a rather appropriate Alice in Wonderland vibe. Or, why not bum-holes? Bum-holes in the space-time continuum. Much more catchy name.)

Anyway… another gig coming up, this time safely at the Bristol end of the cosmos, and there is a real possibility that by then all four of us will actually not be simultaneously ill. If all four of are actually healthy, we might even be quite good.

Saturday 24th – Cider Press, Bishopston
Just down the road from our Em’s place, so she is threatening to bring some of her “more mental” friends along. Well, that should liven things up nicely then.

Square on
A

12-04-2016 – Erk, Fancy Dress

Ahoy there shipmates!

So, another weekend, and two more new venues we’d never played before. The Cider Press in Bishopston turned out to be a bit like the Blue Lagoon just down the road, i.e. quite a big place, with a lot of people in, and various others coming and going.

Early on, Rosa had to bully the crowd quite a lot before they started enjoying themselves, but eventually they started to get the hang of it, and there was much a-dancing around and a-falling over before the night was out. Towards the end of the evening, the doors burst open and a horde in fancy dress trooped in, including a shark, Nemo, two flamingos, a strawberry, a Mexican, somebody on a dwarf’s shoulders, and, my personal favourite, an Arab riding a camel.

The horde quickly took over the dance floor, and it was soon (inevitably) awash in fizzy lager – as were most of them, and we kept playing on until we ran out of time – a mere two songs before Stuart ran out of energy and hand/eye co-ordination.

The management seem mighty pleased with the evening, and it seems they want us to come back very soon. Luvverly!

Saturday, and it’s down to distant Devizes for a night at the Black Horse, which turns out to be a nice little pub right by the canal. Ben and I make a point of staying away from the water, just in case the other one pushes us in. The place isn’t over-busy, but they give us beer and everybody there has a lovely time. I was particularly impressed with the synchronised barmaid dance routines – have they been practicing?

In the course of one of our usual idiot rambling conversations, Stuart idly muses as to whether he should take up a hobby smearing his cobblers with a variety of different substances.

Ben and I warm to the idea – we could make it a feature at gigs; Rosa could ask the crowd to guess what he has been smearing himself with this week…

“What’s that, sir? Marmalade? Good guess, but no, that was two weeks ago”.

“Treacle? No, but that’s a good idea. Maybe he’ll try that next”.

“Marmite…? Euchhhhhh”.

At this point, Rosa scurries off and sits by herself pointedly at the other end of the pub giving us baleful glares.

Oh dear; we think we may have actually broken her this time…

Right then, coming up this weekend, just the one outing on Friday (as I’m having in inning on Saturday for young Lil’s birthday)…

Fri 15th – Blue Lagoon, Horfield
Er – it’s a bit like the Cider Press, just up the road, actually. They’ll have to go some to top last Friday’s entertainment, though – camels up, and Barbie down!

Right, that’s it for now

Square on
A

04-04-2016 – Keeping Score

Mornin!

Well after a week away, I was hoping to return refreshed and bright eyed, but unsurprisingly ended up returning knackered and bleary-eyed instead.

Anyway – after a week off, it was back on Friday for a night at the Parson’s Nose in Melksham; whilst waiting to play after setting up, we found a “Giant Alphabet Floor Puzzle – Ages 2 to 5”. Ben and I immediately pounced on it, and set about completing it as fast as possible. It’s harder than you might think – although to be honest, Ben was holding me back a little…

“Why have you put that N there?”, he demands.
“Because it’s not an N, it’s a Z”.
“No, it’s definitely an N”.
I point out the stripy horse illustration on the jigsaw. “What, as in ‘N for Nebra’?”
“…Well, it looks like an N from this angle”, he grumbles…

He was not alone though, judging by the dyslexic poster we spotted later on..

Spelling tut

Having found a darts scoreboard and a box of chalks, I decide we should keep score for the night to see who has forgotten the most from the set list. As you’ll see, it was close run thing, but in the end the winner’s laurels go to our very own Mr Stiffy (and he was hoping we’d forgotten about that name…) [editor’s note: it was rigged by a corrupt bureaucracy]

Keeping Score

Saturday, and down to Marlborough to the Green Dragon, where after a pretty empty start, we play to a packed pub, including our lovely drummer chum Sarina, of Swindon rockers Broken Image; as Stuart has by now broken two more drumsticks – “He thinks he’s Keith Bloody Moon” – we wheel her up to play for some AC/DC and Led Zep fun, before knocking off a couple more rocky ones and it’s time to stop.

Coming up this week –

Friday 8th – Cider Press, Bishopston, Bristol
Not played this one before, but rather looking forward to it – at least if we can keep Ben’s head out of the cider machinery for long enough…

Saturday 9th – Black Horse, Devizes
It’s been a long time since we played down this neck of the woods, so hopefully they won’t have heard our stock of jokes before. For this gig, they asked for extra posters to be sent a few weeks early, because “they want to put them up in the local barber shop, take-aways, etc”. So I’m hoping at least for an audience with nice neat hair and curry stains down their shirts…

Square on
A