Tag Archives: fancy dress

21-11-2016 – I’be God A Thtingking Kode

Howdy pardners,

Well you’ll be pleased to hear that I’ve dispensed with the Wild West theme for this week, partly ’cause I’ve run out of cowboy jokes, and partly ’cause your favourite guitar player seems to have acquired a stinking head cold (actually, he hasn’t, but I have, and so I’m going to keep this missive nice and short so I can crawl off back to bed and feel properly sorry for myself for a bit).

In fact, I’m just going to announce the next gig, and then slope off in search of a medicinal whiskey or three, and wait until the world starts feeling nicer again. So – here you go… READ MORE

14-11-2016 – B Movie Western

Hi folks

Having played over in Wales this weekend, I’ve randomly decided that a Western theme might be appropriate for this week’s little oeuvre. Tether up your horse, grab yourself a bottle of moonshine, and settle down by the camp fire, nice and comfortable like, and I’ll begin.

It was a moonlit night in old Mexico; I walked alone between some old adobe haciendas.

Suddenly, I heard the plaintive cry of a young Mexican girl.

Now read on…

Howdy there, pardners.

The name’s Tex; oftentimes folks just call me The Man In Black. I been ridin’ out here on the range since I was knee-high to a Smith & Wesson, jus’ makin’ my way as best I can. You’ll know me when you see me – black leather hat, black shirt, black leather jeans, and black leather boots. READ MORE

07-11-2016 – Yeah, Stuff

Hey gang

Well, firstly apologies to anybody who fetched up to the Old Neighbourhood in Chalford hoping to catch us – as you’ll have already found out, we weren’t there. This was due to an unfortunate forgot-to-renew-their-music-licence episode from the pub’s head office management – it wasn’t our fault, honest it wasn’t! Still, it could have been worse – my pal Little Ian’s band had had to cancel their gig on Friday – for the second time in a row at the same venue – thanks to their drummer repeatedly falling off things and injuring himself. READ MORE

31-10-2016 – Of Halloween And French Maids

Well, how do you do,

I see you’ve met my faithful handyman…

If that makes no sense to you, folks, Google it for context…

Friday night, and the New Crown Inn in Bath. Earlier in the week, the landlord had called to let us know they were making it a Halloween fancy dress night, if we fancied joining in.

Do bears poo in the woods?

So, an email was duly sent around all band members, explaining the dress code, with a stern reminder that, as per school PE lessons, anybody who forgets their kit has to play in their pants. I cunningly covered both options by plumbing for a Rocky Horror outfit. READ MORE

26-10-2016 – The Shipping Forecast

Yo homeys!

Sorry this thing is coming out a bit late this week, I got a little bit distracted and ran out of time to write nonsense – so this one is both rather late and rather short.

Still, if you think about it, most bands would just send out something saying “here are our gig dates for the next few weeks, we’re playing at such-and-such next Friday, please come out and join us, it’ll be great” – but not us, oh, no.

We go the extra mile. We sit at a keyboard and write a whole bunch of drivel while we’re trying to think of something funny to say. We don’t even know where such-and-such is, and we have to look it up. Even then, sometimes we’re not sure. READ MORE

17-10-2016 – The Stage

Peace be upon you, my children.

…Actually, I’m pretty sure that you can’t all be my children; I know I have a few, but I really don’t think it was that many – and besides, if that were the case, then I have to say that some of you are looking pretty ropey considering you’d need to be at least twenty years younger than me.

You know who you are.

Well, this week we can report on our Bristol City Stadium Gig – yes, folks, we have now entered the hallowed arena (as it were) of being a Stadium Rock Band. Tick that one off the bucket list. READ MORE

10-10-2016 – Angel Wings and Stadiums

Hey gang

Another weekend, another silly night of rawk’n’roll…

After a pretty dire Friday night gig, replete with dodgy stage sound, equipment death, and my guitar spontaneously detuning itself, resulting in me trying to play one song without touching three of the strings, we were hoping for better things on Saturday up at the dear ol’ Queen Vic in Stroud…

And better things indeed there were. We brought along my beloved Dem and daughter Lily, and were delighted to find some old pals waiting for us when we arrived, who kindly helped us haul the kit in, while Dem and Lil headed straight for the bar and started emptying it. READ MORE

03-10-2016 – Yeah, Well, Ok Then

Good morning campers!

And a very warm welcome to Sunnyview Rest Camp for the mentally infirm and physically unattractive. We hope to make your stay here as enjoyable as possible, but following an unfortunate incident last night outside the Leisure Lido Amusement Palace, please may we remind all our guests to make sure that you are wearing clothes before leaving your chalet; particularly if you don’t have your keys with you. Also, don’t forget that the Sunnyview Knobbly Knees competition will be held at the Kiddies Splashtime Fun Pool this afternoon at four o’clock sharp; or slightly later if we haven’t quite fished out of all the unfortunate floating items by then.
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> Right, sorry ’bout that folks, I have no idea where that one came from; possibly my brain spontaneously retuned itself and was picking up another channel entirely. READ MORE

26-09-2016 – Pole, Wig, Van!

Well, hello there again.

It was nice to be back at the Rolly in Swindon again, and I was very pleased to see that the locals are still every bit as daft as they ever were. Not, however, quite as daft as us…

Poor Stuart has been far too busy lately, and is beginning to show signs of strain; this is not helped by a string of vehicular difficulties; the last two practices have been held up by his ropey works van breaking down (the second time, rather inconveniently in the middle of the M32), and on Friday evening as Ben and I are hurtling down the M4 Swindonwards, we get a call from him saying he’s stuck in traffic and running late. Thus, we roll up at the pub and unload everything, park up, and leisurely set up all the amps, lights, PA, etc before he arrives. Once he finally does, we empty all his kit onto the stage, and he goes off to park. It’s fifteen minutes before he returns. Did he get lost? READ MORE

19-09-2016 – Blofeld

Ahoy there shipmates!

Aharr!!!!!!

Since this be International Talk Like A Pirate Day, we decided to dress up appropriately for Friday’s gig at the Tern in Yate. And what did we learn?

We learned that if Rosa wears an eye patch, she looks like a pirate.
And if Alan wears an eye patch, he looks like a pirate.
And if Ben wears an eye patch, he looks like a pirate.
And if Stuart wears an eye patch, he looks like a Bond villain. [Editor’s note: Blofeld didn’t actually wear an eye patch, that was Emilo Largo] READ MORE