03-07-2017 – Kinda Sporty

Hello, my little pork sausages!

Just a short missive this week; after two weekends in a row without gigs, there really isn’t very much to report on the rawk’n’roll front.

I still haven’t learned to play, but I guess after all this time you’d probably already assumed that was the case.

So, we’ll cut, as they say, to the chase, and the upcoming delights of this weekend’s outings…

Friday 7th – Assembly Inn, Bath
A new one for us, and out of curiosity I just Googled it. Variously described as “Bath’s premier sports bar” (oh dear) and “a non-nonsense boozer” (in which case I have to wonder why, if they have such a deep-seated aversion to nonsense, they booked us); nonetheless, I was cheered by the reports that it’s “a great l’il pub” and “the beer was great and there’s a wide selection”. I do so prefer wide selections, even if it’s a bit of a struggle squeezing them in through the door. Anyways; can’t wait to get out spanking the plank again, no matter where we are or who we’re doing it to. READ MORE

19-06-2017 – The Twat In A Hat And Other Stories

Greetings, my little summer breezes.

Well, that was a mighty busy weekend – 3 gigs, we haven’t done one of those for ages.

We were most looking forward to Friday’s trip up to a bike rally up near Tewkesbury, a roomy hall, with a nice big stage, and – if Thursday’s rehearsal was anything to go by, we are indeed a talented and capable group of musos. And, as you can see, somewhat the model of sartorial elegance…

Twat in a hat

Well, the hall was indeed roomy – perhaps a little too much so at the beginning, given the somewhat limited size of the audience when it came to be time to start playing. (If you’re reading this – Hi, Paul!). READ MORE

13-06-2017 – Whiteboard Affection

Well hello there, my little inflatables…

And I’m glad to report that we’re now finally up to full strength, and what passes for normality around these parts can be resumed.

As Friday, and Emma’s debut gig with us, loomed large, it was almost inevitable that she’d contract a nasty coldy flu-y chest-infectiony thing, spending most the week poorly off from work, and turning up at rehearsal on Thursday (yes, we do actually rehearse this stuff sometimes, thank you very much) distinctly croaky, and delivering the vocals for some of the more demanding numbers via the medium of interpretive dance… READ MORE

05-06-2017 – New Amp Optimism With Added Singer

Hola homeys…

Apologies that I didn’t get around to sending one of these out last week, I’ve been feeling a bit poorly. Gifts of flowers, cards, sympathy, and particularly cash, will all be welcome.

I’ve not, however, been as poorly as my equipment, which seems to be taking great delight in letting me down at gigs*, whilst nonchalantly behaving itself at practices and during prolonged fault-finding engineering investigations. Nonetheless, having gone through absolutely every item in the signal chain between my guitar strings and the victim’s ear holes, and replaced a whole bunch of components – connectors, leads, jack sockets, etc, I think that actually I may be on top of things again. READ MORE

22-05-2017 – When Nothing Goes To Plan!

Hey gang

You ever get a week when nothing goes to plan?

Yup, me too.

We didn’t manage to fit a rehearsal in this week, due to a series of unplanned crises, but nonetheless I still managed to bugger up my nice shiny new amp; it’s suddenly started making a noise like a hornet’s nest, and since I’ve already replaced all the valves, this can mean only one thing – an expensive repair bill…

Still, while it’s out of action, we can still gig, because foresighted Alan has not one but two spare amps he can take along; thus equipped, we rolled up on Saturday to a rather nice venue in Dursley, where we are shown into a small bar area, which we immediately just know is going to be acoustically a bit messy. READ MORE

15-05-2017 – In Brief, Very Brief

And may I wish a very good day to all our regular readers.

Most of you I’m sure will be delighted (although I cherish the notion that at least a few of you may be somewhat dismayed) to find that this week’s wittering is rather shorter than usual, on the grounds that we have no gigs recently played to tell you about, and that coming up this weekend we have only one – and since it’s a private function, there’s little point trying to encourage folks to come along.

I can tell you that it will be in exotic and cosmopolitan Dursley, and that it’s an annual party for a local amateur dramatic society. READ MORE

08-05-2017 – Twat Parking Blues

Yo homies (as they say here in South Gloucestershire – probably a little bit behind the curve when it comes to cutting-edge urban patois, but better than, say, Somerset, where they probably still say “Hey, man”, and way ahead of Wiltshire, where they merely grunt, or anywhere further North, where they probably just bang their head against the nearest tree).

If there’s anybody else I’ve failed to offend in my opening sentence this week, please do let me know, I’d hate to be accused of favouritism… READ MORE

02-05-2017 – Hippy Prog Sports Sandwich

Hey gang

Well, it’s been a very exciting week in rock, and no mistake. (Well, there have of course been a few mistakes – but these were only of the usual fumble fingered musical nature, which we like to attribute to the naturally exciting and spontaneous creativity associated with live music. Ahem.).

Saturday morning dawned fair and bright, and I shambled out of bed to get everything together for our lunchtime hippy-prog set at the Banshees MC charity day bash, with old chums the All Night Chemists – where in a couple of the songs, there are epic-sounding guitar solos when I get to use all my effects pedals at once! It’s very exciting, and not at all coincidental that I wrote those ones… READ MORE

24-04-2017 – Aghast

Aahh, the Blue Lagoon (or the Glue Baboon, as it appeared first time I tried to type it just there…). Always good for a giggle, and last Friday was no exception. My beloved Dem came along, thanks to Stuart’s generous new taxi service offer (Ladies, he’ll take you wherever you want to go if you give him a sausage) and she proceeded to “make a night of it” aided by her regular “pint plus Jagerbomb chaser” routine. As it was our Lily’s birthday recently, a bunch of her pals showed up too; and so we were off to an immediate lively start. READ MORE

18-04-2017 – Easter Chickens

Well, hello there my little spring chickens!

It’s been a rather fine weekend, all in all – I do wonder why a four-day-weekend isn’t the norm, it’s a far superior working arrangement to the usual two-all-too-brief-days nonsense.

Obviously, on this occasion, we got the benefit thanks to this fine nation’s noble religious heritage, when we all look back and commemorate that day over two thousand years ago, when Our Lord Jesus hopped around the countryside with a basket of treats, distributing chocolate eggs to all the good little children. READ MORE