Pirates

05-02-2018 – Arrrrr!

Ahoy there, me hearties!

Well, sadly were all on shore leave this weekend, so we can’t tell you all about our exciting adventures, because we haven’t had any.

But, if you – like the 3.14% of sailors who are pi-rates – are up for a bit of saucy buccaneering fun on the high seas, here’s where you can find the crew of the good ship Angel Up Front next weekend…

Friday 9th – The Trout, Keynsham
Swashbuckling good fun, this one – the decks usually awash with grog by the end of the night.

Saturday 10th – The Crown, Staple Hill
A new port for us to plunder, we’ve not raided this particular one before, but we’re hopeful of finding rich treasure chests, and perhaps even some booty. Ahem.

Sunday 11th – The Bell, Wantage
And finally, a Sunday afternoon voyage to the ends of the Earth – it’s even further than Pighill. I believe we are due to splice the mainbrace at around 4:30, and so we should be safely tucked up in Davy Jones’ Locker by suppertime.

And now, will you please join me in reciting the traditional ship’s litany of piratical puns.

All together now…

Why are pirates called pirates?

Because they Arrrrr.

Where do pirates go to keep fit?

Arrr, Gym, lad!

How much do pirate’s big golden hoop earrings cost?

A buck an ear.

Why is piracy so addictive?

Once you lose your first hand, you’re hooked.

What has 8 arms, 8 legs, and 8 eyes?

8 pirates.

Amen.

Finally, the annoyingly smug clever one…

Did you know – if you take the “p” out of a pirate, he becomes quite angry…

You’re welcome

Square on
A

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