Tag Archives: new year

03-04-2017 – More Jelly

Hey gang!

Well, after several weekends off, it was so-o-o nice to be back out gigging again; and, rather to our surprise, we can still remember how to do it!

The Lamb in Marlborough is a friendly little place anyway, and the bar staff were particularly delightful on this occasion; treating us to a rather fine synchronised dance routine from the very first number. By the end of the night, the crowd were making more noise than we were*, which is always a good sign.

Poor Lily wasn’t feeling too chipper, but she put a brave face on things and did a magnificent job; she was clearly feeling a little better by the end of the night, as once we finished packing up, she immediately set off in search of food. Dat’s my girl! READ MORE

27-03-2017 – Lime Jelly Fantasy

Welcome back, my children of the night…

Just as you thought it was safe to peer into your Inbox again, here we are, back with more tales from the Dark Side…

…Well, actually, we thought we’d cheer you up today, with happy tales of the outside world, and that magical land where fabulous creatures still hold dominion over the drab mundane everyday; where fauns and satyrs still frolic in the leafy vales, and warm limpid pools of lime jelly are positively teeming with carousing young scantily-clad cheerleaders [Editor’s note: Hang on, before you go off on one your sordid little flights of fancy, let’s at least have a little narrative consistency – if they’re so scantily clad, how do you know they’re cheerleaders, eh?], with warm sun beating languidly down on their cheerleader’s uniforms piled neatly on the bank [Hmph!] and the moist jelly glistening on their firm lithe limbs [Right, stop it, that’s enough – you’re banned! I hereby revoke your artistic licence; and since you already had ten points on it (writing without due care and attention, splitting an infinitive without indicating, and failing to stop when required to do so by a member of Her Majesty’s Grammar Constabulary) – that’s an automatic six-month ban plus a two hundred quid fine]. READ MORE

06-03-2017 – Strappy Man

Hola, homeys and honeys!

Another weekend of pub rawk jollity; starting with a rather lively night at the Trout in Keynsham; somewhat enlivened by the presence of my old boss, King Howard, and his retinue of alcohol-fuelled relatives. I am introduced to his brother-in-law with the words, “This is Martin, I apologise in advance”. Apparently Martin, when he has been over zealously applying alcoholic beverages to his metabolism, can sometimes become rather demonstratively affectionate, “in a homoerotic way”. My look of puzzlement prompts further clarification. “Last week, he tried to bum me”, explains Howard. We leave Martin to talk to Stuart, who we figure will be glad of the attention, should the need arise. READ MORE

27-02-2017 – Mission Failure

Yo homeys!

Well,Friday’s gig was a bit quiet. Extremely quiet.

This was at least in part due to the fact that my arrival at the venue, and starting of unloading of the kit, was met with a slightly concerned look from the barmaid who said to me. “Hang on a second, love, I’ll just get the landlady a moment…”

It transpires that there has been something of booking agent-related cock-up, and that in fact the pub has no idea we were supposed to be coming. “But didn’t you get the posters I sent a few weeks ago?” I ask. READ MORE

20-02-2017 – Almost the Partridge Family

Blessings be upon you, my children.

More rock’n’roll high jinks this week; just the one gig, playing at my brother Mike’s rather fine birthday bash. Naturally, I took along my entire tribe, plus my far-too-rarely-seen sister; and since we had the all the constituents there of what is quite literally my house band, it seemed a shame not to use them.

I rolled up with youngest offspring Jimi to the hall, to find that it was rather more of a cathedral than we had expected. Nice and big, with solid walls, hard floor, and an enormously high vaulted ceiling. To test the natural reverb of the room, I stood in the centre and clapped my hands loudly. As I type this 2 days later, the reverberations are just beginning to die down now. READ MORE