Tag Archives: covers

14-12-2015 – Irrelevant

Hurry folks, there’s only one shopping day left til Christmas!

It’s true. There’s always only one shopping day left til Christmas. It’s called Christmas Eve.

My advice is not to leave it too late, though – otherwise the only place left open will be the petrol station, and that means everybody gets either charcoal briquettes or screen wash for Christmas.

Anyways, we had an interesting time this weekend, thanks for asking; I think Saturday night was my favourite, playing a party for the New Sentinels bike club down in Bedminster. After some initial confusion – expecting to be the second on of the two bands, then finding on arrival that they wanted us on first; then having to wait for them to set up first anyway, which took a while on account of their guitarist being an hour late; then after finally being able to hurriedly set up being told (just as we went on), that they wanted us to play not one but two sets – things settled down quite nicely. READ MORE

07-12-2015 – Dancing Edition

Ho, ho ho, my little ones.

Yes, it’s now December, start of the silly season, and time to be able to use the C-word in public again. A fine weekend to start off with – we arrived at the Queen Vic to find the council has closed the road for a festive street fair a little further up the hill, blocking our access to get in and unload.

Fortunately, they hadn’t had the foresight to close the pavement as well, so my little van clambered nimbly over a couple of kerbs, and we were right outside the venue, with plenty of spaces to park, since everybody else seemed to be law-abiding. READ MORE

30-11-2015 – The Curse Of The Whammy Bar

My, that was a busy weekend!

Friday night, and it’s off to the rather lovely Barrington Arms near Swindon with daughter Lil for an acoustic evening; a fine plan, spoiled only by the cheery signs, twinkling in the rainswept night, announcing that the M4 is shut from the next junction but one onwards. As the noted wit Oscar Wilde would have remarked, “Oh, bugger!”

So it’s off at the next exit for a frantic explore of the B roads of Wiltshire, and we finally slither to a halt outside the pub a mere hour late. Fortunately Tracy, the nice lady in charge, is very understanding, and we still manage to fit in a full two sets before finishing time. She apologises that the pub’s not too full, but blames Black Friday, the weather, the roads, and, curiously, the government. Apparently, though, they normally have more people in the place, and they usually like something a bit noisier than what we’ve just played. Lil immediately informs her that we can easily do MUCH noisier, we just bring her brothers along – this suggestion is met with approval, and so the stage is set for a full-on Polar Bear Cheesy Pirate experience in the New Year. ? READ MORE

23-11-2015 – Polar Bears, Fights and Glowing Guitars

Hey folks

Helldammit, that was a fun weekend all round!

Friday night, and time for Lily’s gig up at the ol’ Clothears in Stroud; having forewarned the pub that in addition the usual acoustic-y stuff, we were bringing along the full strength of the tribe – the mighty Polar Bear Cheese Pirates From Outer Space – we arrived early and after almost an hour of careful planning, carrying, arranging, rearranging, and tripping over each other, we’d managed to get the entire band’s kit set up in the very snug space available. And a jolly night we had of it; although after over an hour of drumming way after his bedtime, poor Jimi had to curl up in a corner to snooze while we packed the rest of the kit up afterwards. Usually it’s Lily that does that. READ MORE

16-11-2015 – Tortured and Tigger

Hey guys

Well another weekend, and I’m still not dead. Came pretty close, though…

After starting to feel fairly rough at the end of last week, I awoke on Saturday morning to find that during the night, somebody had removed both my lungs, and replaced them with a pair of black bin bags, which had been filled with raw sewage and cement dust and left out in the rain for a week. Not content with this, they had also set fire to my throat lining, put it out with a cricket bat, and tried to hide any evidence by removing the surface layers with a cheese grater. In addition, each of my eyeballs had been temporarily removed with a chisel and, after being used for a vigorous game of ping-pong, were soaked in vinegar before replacing them back in their sockets, using a hammer. READ MORE

09-11-2015 – Rock n’ Roll Chocolate

Ah, there you, 007. Take a seat, and listen carefully…

Another slightly mad weekend, starting in the Trout up in sunny Keynsham; after a fairly quiet start, by the end of the first set, the place was livening up nicely; a shame, then, that I somehow completely forgot how to play the intro to the last song of the first set.

“Oh, f**k”, I tell Ben, “It’s gone. I have no idea how it goes. Complete blank. Can’t even guess”

“Just make something up, then” he sagely advises.

So I do; and we get clean away with it. This rock’n’roll stuff turns out to be rather easy, as long as you don’t worry about getting it right. READ MORE

02-11-2015 – Old Creepyhood Capers

Well hello there…

And, after a whole week away (for me at least spent in sunny Franceland, many miles away from the nearest guitar), Saturday night at the Old Neighbourhood near Stroud was always going to be an interesting evening… Would I remember the songs? Could I actually manage to play them? Had I ever been able to? And what were they anyway?

Such minor concerns were swept away by the more important questions of what to dress up as. Despite being in possession of a large case of assorted Halloween costumes, wigs, and masks, I remembered from previous years that actually while wearing them you can’t see, you can’t breathe, and, most importantly, you can’t drink. Accordingly it was off to the local cheap’n’nasty shop, to invest a whole pound in some kiddy face paints. Then it’s just a case of bribing daughter to creatively apply them to create a suitably undead appearance, and then dig out some torn-up clothes to complete the zombie effect. This last bit is easy; I go the bottom of the drawer for my old biking cut off, which even after all these years still carries the faint aroma of “beer, engine oil, and every conceivable body fluid”. READ MORE

19-10-2015 – Why’s Everybody Always Pickin’ On Me?

Hey gang

Another busy weekend in the exciting world of rawk’n’roll, Friday at the Parson’s Nose in Melksham started with an empty pub – but since they didn’t want us to start playing until half ten, by the time we got going, the place was nice and busy. While we were waiting, poor Stooie was so exhausted after his long hard day that he fell asleep in one of the pub’s comfy sofas, so the other three of us amused ourselves with such innocent impromptu pub game pastimes as “catch the beer mat in your mouth”, which rapidly evolved into “how many beer mats can you pile on the sleeping drummer”, and ended up with us all wearing Mexican wrestling masks whilst trying to put a blonde wig on Stuart without waking him. Sadly, he was roused by the squeals of laughter from nearby tables, so alas our plans were thwarted. READ MORE

05-10-2015 – Duck Ears!

Hola homeys and honeys!

Well, we made it! We survived the muso’s nightmare that is THE STAIRS at the Rum Bar over in Chepstow on Friday night.

We’ll gloss over the fact that Ben and I got stuck in traffic so much that the 5 miles from my house to the Severn Bridge took us over an hour, and pick up the story as we rolled up at the foot of the tottering slippery ironwork fire escape that is the way in to the venue…

…In fact, the experience of getting all the kit in and set up was massively eased by the fact that much of the carrying-of-unfeasibly-heavy-equipment-up-endless-flights-of-stairs was actually done by the extremely amiable lads from behind the bar, meaning that we were a lot less exhausted than otherwise. Also, once we had reached Base Camp, the fact that our Rosa has very quickly learned the ancient craft of wiring up the PA, saved us some setting up time, leaving me with ample opportunity to faff about with choosing which toys to play with. READ MORE

01-10-2015 – Space Mission

Captain’s log, star date 735.41

Having sent a landing party down to the surface of the planet Trident, in the Shabby quadrant of the Downend system, we set up our scientific equipment and attempted to discern if there was any native intelligent life down there.

Despite some early positive readings, we were beginning to suspect that we weren’t going to find anything more advanced than basic pond life organisms, when suddenly we stumbled across a new species of apparently alcohol-based life form, which provided much opportunity for interesting scientific study. READ MORE