Faux pas

01-04-2019 – T-Shirt Faux Pas

Ahoy there shipmates!

Another weekend, another fine pair of evenings spent making a racket, jumping around like a twat, and generally having a marvellous time. Both Emma and I agreed that we can’t remember what normal people do for fun on a night out, ‘cos this is so much better.

Mind you, we also agreed that we should change the band name to “Pottymouth Infidel and the Conspicuous Ninjas”, so that gives you an idea of the kind of intellect you’re dealing with here.

Friday at the Packhorse was immense fun, and – thanks to it being one of the regular’s birthday, there was a large buffet arrayed on a table. It is codified in law that musicians are entitled to partake in any food which is displayed within 50 feet of them…so we did.

Between mouthfuls, Ben enquires of Stuart, “Stu… is your t-shirt on inside out…?”

“What?…Er.. yes, so it is”

“And has it been like that all day?”

“Er…yes. …I’ve had several meetings with customers, actually.”

He’s a big boy now, and can nearly dress himself.

Saturday at the Fire Engine in Redfield followed the usual pattern – we came, we set up, we twatted about loudly… and that was about it, really. Chatting with the landlady afterwards, she said she’d like to book us for their big festival event coming up – apparently she thought we’d go down really well “because you’re a bit mental, you lot, aren’t you?” We are mighty pleased with this.

The gentleman who won our “inflatable guitar rocking out competition” did so by the unusual tactic of performing simulated sex on the floor with it. For his efforts, we awarded him a small rubber bath duck. (We keep a small supply with us for just such occasions).

I wish we could have heard the conversation in his house the following morning.

“Good morning, darling, did you have a nice evening?”

“Yes, thank you, I had rather a nice night”

“Oh! What’s this here? A bath duck? How did you come by this?”

“Ah. Well. You see, darling, it’s like this…”

Coming up this weekend –

Friday 5th – The Trout, Keynsham
Oh, it gets messy in here. I rather like it. The floor does get a bit sloppy, though. We advise people to refrain from simulated sex on the floor. We really do.

Saturday 6th – Colerne Liberal Club
I don’t think we’ve played here before. I don’t think I even know where Colerne is. It is not in Switzerland?

Thassit for now folks, I’m bored with typing, and I’m hungry again.

Square on
A



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