14-12-2015 – Irrelevant

Hurry folks, there’s only one shopping day left til Christmas!

It’s true. There’s always only one shopping day left til Christmas. It’s called Christmas Eve.

My advice is not to leave it too late, though – otherwise the only place left open will be the petrol station, and that means everybody gets either charcoal briquettes or screen wash for Christmas.

Anyways, we had an interesting time this weekend, thanks for asking; I think Saturday night was my favourite, playing a party for the New Sentinels bike club down in Bedminster. After some initial confusion – expecting to be the second on of the two bands, then finding on arrival that they wanted us on first; then having to wait for them to set up first anyway, which took a while on account of their guitarist being an hour late; then after finally being able to hurriedly set up being told (just as we went on), that they wanted us to play not one but two sets – things settled down quite nicely.

Edited highlights included Rosa discovering that big hairy bikers are actually not at all terrifying (quite fluffy and cute in fact); me sampling some of their allegedly narcotic stew with disappointingly little effect; and being told by the other band’s stand-in drummer Ken (who spent many years playing for legendary blues-rock outfit the Groundhogs) that my guitar playing was “very fluid, and actually, quite retro”.

I decided to take this as a compliment; in fact I suspect he was inferring that, like him, I am a rather well-marinated Old Bastard.

My favourite episode off the week, though, occurred during practice, as Stuart is rifling through the calendar on his phone trying to organise rehearsal dates.

“Oh, I see Lewis is unavailable tomorrow” he observes.

“Lewis who?” we ask.

“Oh, it doesn’t matter, it’s nobody you know”

“We might”, I point out, “What’s his surname?”

“Look, it’s irrelevant”.

“So, he’s Lewis Irrelevant?”

Stuart rolls his eyes in slightly exasperated fashion. “No, look, it’s… It doesn’t…Oh, all right then, if you like, yes, he’s called Lewis Irrelevant.”

“Lewis Irrelevant?” chimes in Ben, “So… is he unavailable because he’s packed his trunk and said goodbye to the circus?”

At this point, after a brief moment to run the line through our heads, along with the tune, three of us collapse in fits of giggles.

Stuart remains steadfastly nonplussed.

“What are you on about circuses for?”

“Lewis Irrelevant”.


“He’s packed his trunk and said goodbye to the circus”

“What trunk? What are you talking about?”

It’s a bit difficult to explain such a tricky concept while you can’t breathe, but eventually we manage to convey the link to Stuart. Eventually realisation dawns, and a look of deep disappointment crosses his face.

“You’re idiots” he sagely observes.

Indeed we are.

Coming up this week –

Friday 18th – New Crown Inn, Newbridge, Bath
It’s a new one for us, so they have no idea what to expect from us. Nor, to be frank (or possibly even Lewis), do we. We’ll let y’all know how it goes.

Saturday 19th – Molloy’s, Bristol
Down in the middle of town, it’s always lively, and likely to be even more so this close to the festering season. Plus, there’s always the post-gig entertainment of watching the overenthusiastic imbibers being picked up off the pavement outside by the philosophical-looking paramedics, doing their best to provide care and support whilst avoiding anybody actually being sick on them. Don’t wear your best shoes to this one, is my advice.

Right, that’s your lot for this week – we’ll see ya next week.

Square on

Lewis Irrelevant has left the building

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