Good morning campers!
And a very warm welcome to Sunnyview Rest Camp for the mentally infirm and physically unattractive. We hope to make your stay here as enjoyable as possible, but following an unfortunate incident last night outside the Leisure Lido Amusement Palace, please may we remind all our guests to make sure that you are wearing clothes before leaving your chalet; particularly if you don’t have your keys with you. Also, don’t forget that the Sunnyview Knobbly Knees competition will be held at the Kiddies Splashtime Fun Pool this afternoon at four o’clock sharp; or slightly later if we haven’t quite fished out of all the unfortunate floating items by then.
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> Right, sorry ’bout that folks, I have no idea where that one came from; possibly my brain spontaneously retuned itself and was picking up another channel entirely.