Aloha!

After all this time, it’s probably something of a surprise to see one of these lurking in your Inbox; you’d probably almost forgotten about the torrent of nonsense we used to inflict on you innocent folks.

Well, sorry (not sorry) to say, We’re Back!

After a long break due to the Dreaded Plague and following some absolute horrors that we won’t be going into, the mighty Angel Up Front rock machine has been dusted down, bearings greased, paintwork buffed to a gleaming sheen, and we’ve even cleaned out the little broken-off bits of plastic that mysteriously accumulate in the door pockets.

We’ve said a fond farewell to our beloved Emma, who due to other priorities won’t be able to gig regularly any more (although the occasional guest appearance has not been ruled out); and in her place as central vocal artiste we are happy to welcome the delightful and talented Miss Abby Scandrett.

We were going to include a photo of her in here for your information – but, knowing some of you lot, decided against it, on the grounds that it might cause a degree of unnecessary excitement, and the nurses will have to be called to calm you down. Again.

(Yes, Mr Gardner, I’m looking at you).

After a fistful of rehearsals and a couple of opportunistic gigs, we’re happy to report that Abs is settling in very nicely indeed; she seems to have adjusted rather well to the fact that she’s now fronting three blithering idiots and already has learned to more or less ignore the tomfoolery that inevitably happens between (and sometimes during) songs.

In accordance with tradition, here’s a quick rundown of the last gig we played, and a warning of where the next ones will be so you can take the necessary evasive steps….

So – last Friday week, and an appointment at the Five Alls in Chepstow; which turns out to be a very friendly little boozer in the middle of the town, run by some affable metalheads.

We arrive somewhat stressed and an hour later than planned, due to awful traffic on the way to the Severn Bridge – thanks apparently to a combination of half term week, and Ed Bloody Sheeran playing Cardiff that night. (And not, as I had fondly imagined, due to thousands of folk on their way to a small pub in Chepstow to watch us).

Finally, we get there, the van screeches to a halt on the pavement, we bound in through the door, announce that the band has arrived, and ask where we are to set up.

The bikery gentleman at the bar directs us to a cleared area in a corner. It appears to be the size of a postage stamp. Folded in half. As seen from space. After some deliberation, we conclude that we could just about fit in there, as long as we put the drums right in the corner, behind the amps.

“But this means you won’t be able to hear me”, I point out to Stuart.

“That’s fine by me”, he declares, rather more cheerfully than I would have liked.

There follows half an hour of Chuckle Brothers slapstick comedy gold as we repeatedly trip over each other trying to shoehorn all the kit into appropriate places, involving several “no, that won’t work” rearrangements, until finally we are all set up. Abs watches this chaos for a couple of minutes before deciding that the best thing she can do to help is to buy drinks.

I told you she was delightful.

By now the pub has filled up nicely, and the gig is thoroughly enjoyable. Abs spends much of it dancing around the pub with the punters, not least because otherwise she’d be spending the evening with a bass headstock in her ear. We finish off with a couple of encores and even make it through the last one despite a girl falling over and spilling an entire pint over Ben’s pedals. Miraculously they keep working, although the next morning when I check them over, they both have splitting headaches and are complaining about the noise and the bright lights.

Definitely a good place to go back to, we decide, as long as Mr Sheeran is prepared to rearrange his tour dates as necessary.

So, that was fun!

Next outing coming up: –

Friday June 17^th, Cat & Wheel, Bristol

Down by the Arches on Gloucester Road, this has long been a band favourite; it’s a bit cosy in there for us, but plenty of room for punters to dance on tables, and occasionally each other. As it’s nice and local, there’s a fair chance that a few pals will be along, so it will probably be quite a lively night. But please, don’t buy any more drinks for Ben’s pedals, rehab is quite expensive….

Saturday 18^th June, The Old Mill, Portishead

A new one for us, so we’re not quite sure what to expect. That said, nor are they. But it’s Portishead, and we’re a bunch of idiots, so pretty much anything is possible. Hopefully I’ll remember to pack the toybox this time.

Square on
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