Demented

17-09-2019 – Ligament Damage Wah!

Top o’ the mornin’ to ye!

Just in case it’s St Paddy’s day at some point this week, I really don’t pay attention to these things. Or to anything much, come to think of it.

I believe that this is a sound approach to maintaining a positive attitude when under adverse conditions – if you pay very little attention to what’s going on around you, then things don’t really bother you so much. There is, in fact a medical term for it…. ah, yes.

Dementia.

Anyways – concerned citizens amongst will doubtless be relieved to hear that my horribly buggered ankle, as reported here last week, is slowly on the mend.

Some brief medical research indicates that I have in fact suffered a Grade 2 ligament tear; meaning “not bad for a first attempt, but if you’d knuckled down and put the work in, you could have done better”.

In fact, for those of you interested, there are apparently three grades of ligament damage available – ranging from the Grade 1 (“Mummy, I’ve got an ouchie”), to the Grade 3 (foot flopping around uselessly off end of leg).

So I’m actually happy with my current result, all things considered. The naughty ankle should be sufficiently functional for this weekend’s gigs, although there is a possibility I may have to rely on a third party for any songs requiring the use of the wah. This is where Emma, my trusty pedalwench, comes to the fore.

Also, I may require the assistance of some additional road crew for carrying the heavier items of equipment around. Application forms will be available shortly; preference will be given to candidates who are female swimwear models between the ages of 18 and 25. Lime jelly will be provided.

Alan’s Fantasy Road Crew is an equal opportunities employer.

Anyhoo – coming up in the near and hobbly future…

Friday 20th – The Swan, Thornbury
Nice and local for me, and if you live near Thornbury it’s nice and local for you, too. We like it here, cause we like Sandra the landlady, and also because they sell beer. I like beer.

Saturday 21st – Railway Tavern, Fishponds
Nice and local for Stuart, and if you live near Stuart – well, you have only yourselves to blame. :-). They sell beer here, too.

Right, well that’s about it from us – but how about you?

I’ve just realised that we push these out every week, saying what we’ve been up to, but we don’t really ask how you all are – like some kind of nightmare round robin Christmas card, where we brag on about how well little Jocaster is doing with her equestrian classes, and that young Tarquin has been accepted for a place at the Royal Academy of Arts, and my goodness, doesn’t time fly, can you believe it was only a year ago that we went trekking in Peru, and…

Oh God’s, that’s enough of that.

Are we getting like that?

Please tell me we’re not.

Square on
A

PS This weekend I popped back to visit my dear ol’ mum; in between various odd jobs that needed doing, we took her our shopping, where I was very concerned at a behaviour pattern I noticed in the supermarket.

So – if you’re reading this, residents of Sidcup – STOP BUYING THE FUCKING DAILY MAIL.

That is all.

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