05-12-2018 – Swanky Vowel Shortage


My, that was an interesting evening we had on Saturday. A journey up into the wild and wet hills of Wales, to play a birthday party in the charming little town of Ynysbwl.

No, really, that’s not a typo!

The sad fact is that there is a national shortage of vowels in the area; since the alphabet mines were shut down some years ago, and all the best letters were loaded onto trains and shipped off for swanky Londoners to enjoy, all the locals were left with was a collection of the less popular consonants – mostly “w”s, with a few “b”s and “l”s.

They managed to find a few “y”s left over amongst the spoil heaps, and had to make do with those for vowels.

To make up for it, though, the fortunate denizens of the valleys are especially well blessed when it comes to rain.

But I digress.

We rolled up, and were greeted by charming hostess Natalie, who has arranged everything for her birthday boy spouse (whose name I’ve forgotten already [Editor’s Note: senility settling in]). What I do remember clearly is being led to the buffet after we finished the first set; we turned a corner and behold a room the size of a small aircraft hangar, tables laden with comestibles, the like of which I have not seen for many a year. We are particularly impressed to see two large silver platters, one piled high with Frazzles, the other with Chip-sticks. We are musicians, and this is free food, so we pile in and stuff our faces until we can’t move anymore; and oh dear, now it’s time for the second set.

We haul our bloated corpses onto the stage and start playing; and, fuelled by the magic of wine, the valley girls are immediately up and dancing all over the place. I can see Ben is particularly impressed by a couple of ladies.

The third set passes without major incident; the birthday boy has requested to sing a number with us; so this he does, carefully shepherded by Emma.

After we’ve run out of encores and run out of time, we pack up, have a lively natter with the friendly party goers, and head off into the rainy night.

Coming up – something a bit different, and with a few more vowels…

Friday 7th – Packhorse, Bristol
A new one for us. This always used to be a bikers’ pub, and for all I know, it still is. We may finally get to wheel out that Metallica number we’ve been keeping in the cupboard.

Saturday 8th – Xmas Party, Cheltenham
We don’t normally do business corporate thingies, in case we scare them; but in this case we were booked for the gig by somebody who saw us up in Cheltenham a few months ago, so they know exactly what they’re in for. And still they booked us….

Thassit for now…

Square on

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