People of Earth
Having been watching your puny planet for some years now, we, the Thargzoids, have decided that we can no longer bear to witness your pathetic and incompetent attempts at self-governance, and have duly decided to take over control directly.
The consequent enslavement of the human race will be effective immediately, and is, of course, entirely for your own benefit.
Accordingly, one of our sleeper agents, who until now has been placed undercover on Earth to observe you, will emerge to assume complete control of the day-to-day running of the planet.
Henceforth from this day onwards, you shall do obeisance to your new ruler for all eternity, as supplicants to Her Imperial Majesty the Lizard Queen – who may already be familiar to some of you under her disguise as the one known in your laughable media as “Liz Truss”.
Resistance is, of course, futile.
In the meantime, you are invited to attend – on pain of death, naturally – Her Imperial Majesty’s coronation event, which will be held as follows: –
Friday 10th Feb – The Ring O’Bells, Ashcott, Bridgwater
A very highly recommended pub in the wilds of Somerset, now being run by a long-time member of the extended AUF “family”, the delightful Cara – who, I must say, I always held in very great esteem, even before she ran a pub. Just sayin’….
Very much looking forward to this one, should be a few pals along to join in the fun as well.
…And, that’s about it for this week, apart from a little gem I found on the interwebs last week, a very satisfactory, almost poetic, but rather specific creation myth, entitled: –
God creates the duck.
“Waterproof that chicken, and give it a kazoo”.
Square on
A