Guitar strap

06-03-2017 – Strappy Man

Hola, homeys and honeys!

Another weekend of pub rawk jollity; starting with a rather lively night at the Trout in Keynsham; somewhat enlivened by the presence of my old boss, King Howard, and his retinue of alcohol-fuelled relatives. I am introduced to his brother-in-law with the words, “This is Martin, I apologise in advance”. Apparently Martin, when he has been over zealously applying alcoholic beverages to his metabolism, can sometimes become rather demonstratively affectionate, “in a homoerotic way”. My look of puzzlement prompts further clarification. “Last week, he tried to bum me”, explains Howard. We leave Martin to talk to Stuart, who we figure will be glad of the attention, should the need arise.

The gig itself is made a little difficult for me, as this is the night that my strap locks decide to collapse. For the uninitiated, a strap lock is – as the name may suggest – a small metal device, designed to lock your precious expensive guitar to its strap, thereby ensuring it remains securely attached round your neck throughout any amount of nancificatious on-stage prancing.

However, if you’ve been rash enough to buy cheap sub-standard ones, they can suddenly become a means for your beloved axe to repeatedly try to hurl itself to the floor, unless you stand very still… Massive thanks therefore to Lily, who spent most of the second set reattaching the damned thing to me whilst she was singing, while I tried to continue playing with my axe balanced precariously on my leg. Foot on monitor, for all the wrong reasons.

Saturday’s outing to Devizes was rather more sedate, but – armed with a shiny new pair of expensive proper Schaller straplocks – beware of cheap imitations, folks! – we seemed to go down well enough with the punters that were there; particularly hipster “Jordan”, who sang along on a couple of songs with us. Well, fair enough.

Right then, hopefully with everything functioning normally, coming up this week…

Friday 10th – The Tern, Yate
Last time we played here, just before Christmas, was Lily’s first outing with us. This will be another one. Next time we play here, it probably won’t be with Lil. Er – as you can probably tell, I’m struggling to think of something to say about this one. It’s a gig. Something weird will happen, we just don’t know what. You’ll have to wait for next week’s exciting instalment.

Or, you could come along and find out yourself. Who knows, if you play your cards right, you might even be the weird thing that happens.

Square on

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