13-01-2014 – One does not simply walk into Mordor

What ho!

Another busy weekend; Friday night was in Coalpit Heath, where it seems they like a bit of a drink… in addition from the nice young lady who kindly showed me all her tattoos (Care Bear tattoos, anyone? Full marks for novelty value), we had a fairly major stage invasion by a lively bunch of youngsters who took over Ben’s mike to merrily join in for the last couple of numbers. It was fortunate he’d had the foresight to turn it off when he saw ‘em coming…

Lou has been trying out her new “audience participation” skills this week, which largely seems to consist of getting people to buy her drinks during the set.

It’s a good start, but of course the real measure of success is whether she can persuade them to buy ME drinks…

As we packed up, Stuart (the one who organises things, remember) asks me where we’re playing the next night.

“Marlborough” I tell him, with my mouth still full of crisps stolen from Lou (which I suspect she got somebody else to buy for her).

“MORDOR…?” chuckles Ben incredulously.

Stuart ignores him. “Hmmm, that’s quite a long way away, then.”

“Well, one does not simply walk into Mordor”, points out Ben helpfully.

Still, an interesting night we had of it in Mordor – ironically enough, in the Green Dragon; Lou has been conspiring with my youngest offspring and borrowed a few extra toys from him for the evening – enter the mighty Bubble Gun! Yes folks, we have definitely nailed the concept of the cheapest, smallest rawk’n’roll multimedia special effects show the world has ever seen. A kiddie’s bubble machine and a set of flashing finger lights. Pink Floyd are probably quaking in their boots as you read this.

Still, our PR machinery could probably do with a little buffing up… we’ve been told to go and be more friendly with the punters; so, as we finished the first set, I bounced cheerily offstage and straight into a pleasant-looking pair of ladies who had just walked in from the street.

“Allo”, I beamed at the nearest one, “You’re late! You’ve missed half the fun. What sort of time d’you call this?”

She smiled nervously; then her eyes got real big, she gave me a long, terrified rictus grin, and then they both turned and fled back into the night.

“Nice work, dude”, commented Ben.

See, that’s why I’m not normally allowed to talk to people…

Coming up – a weekend off! We’re giving the drinking public a well-earned rest this weekend, but never fear – we’ll be back after this short break…

Square on

Meanwhile, our recommended website for this week: – www.conjunctivitis.com.

It’s a site for sore eyes….
[Editor’s note: naturally I tried this link but I didn’t get what I expected and if your’ thinking of doing this, don’t bother, it’s not worth it. Of course, now I’ve said that you will won’t you!]

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