Tag Archives: giant goram

26-09-2017 – Banoffee Absence

Hey gang

Well, if you’re reading this, then it means we survived the gigs at the weekend. Unless your computer is haunted. Just to be on the safe side, right now you should exorcise it, just in case. Just follow the following simple steps. Do not delay – do it now, even if you are in the middle of a busy open plan office. Every second you waste imperils your mortal soul. Do it NOW!

  • Lift up your computer, stand up, turn to face due North, and say in a loud, clear voice. “Begone, foul spirit! Leave this digital device, return to the Pit whence you came, and come back no more to trouble this mortal plane”.
  • Repeat the above for each of the other cardinal points of the compass.
  • Sprinkle 2.5 litres of holy water over the keyboard, whilst reciting the third verse of Stairway To Heaven (backwards) in a drawling monotone in the key of F sharp.
  • Delete this email, before your supervisor sees it.
  • Try your best to explain your actions when the industrial tribunal comes around.

You’re welcome.

Friday’s outing to the Bulldog in Filton was approached with some trepidation, after a quick Google search showed that the place appears on a list of “Bristol’s Roughest Pubs”. READ MORE

21-09-2017 – I Will Survive (I hope) Addendum Special?

Captain’s Log – Update. Stardate 137 / 24.9

Just a quick update on this weekend’s gigs – if you were planning to trot along to see us in Dursley on Saturday, I suggest you make some new plans. The gig’s cancelled, as we’ve been informed that apparently the landlord “has done a runner”.

I assume that this means he has suddenly relocated, presumably leaving behind a pile of unpaid bills and an empty till.

The other possibility is that the phrase indicates he has suffered a catastrophic bout of intestinal distress, and that the pub has been closed for safety reasons while the bio-hazard clean-up team wrestles with the outfall. READ MORE

19-09-2017 – I Will Survive (I hope)?

Ahoy there shipmates!

And, after a nice relaxing weekend off, it’s back into the fray for your favourite rock’n’roll heroes; with a rather busy three-gig weekend, of which the most salubrious seems to be in Dursley.

Just think about that, for a minute…

Friday 22nd – The Bulldog, Filton – 8pm start
I don’t think we’ve done this one before. In fact, I’m not sure if they have live music as a regular feature or not; certainly I’ve never met any bands who say they’ve played here, which either means they’ve only just started putting bands on… or nobody has played here and lived to tell the tale. We shall see… READ MORE