Ahoy there shipmates!

As previously announced in these pages, your favourite rawk’n’roll band is taking a well-earned rest for most of the month of August, at least in part because it’s too damned hot to be humping heavy amplifiers around.

However, a couple of last minute bookings have turned up, and so it was that last Saturday, we found ourselves up in Dursley, at the Kingshill Inn; which turns out to be a rather fine venue, with a nice little stage area, and even a special Flying V hung over the bar, which every visiting band is required to use for at least one number. The place (although apparently usually rammed full) was half empty – and this time it wasn’t our fault, because nobody knew we were coming! – but the folks that were there were pleasantly jolly and bonkers. Although not without a sinister side; within minutes of meeting us, the very nice-seeming young lady who served me at the bar (despite, it turned out, not working there) had cheerfully confessed to electrocuting hamsters for a pastime… Well, this is Dursley, after all, you never quite know what to expect.

Also we seem to have found the only pub in the world that doesn’t sell beer. WHAT? Stuart, pack up, we’re going home!

No, really, apparently they tried, but the locals only want lager, fizzy cider, or nasty alcopops. They even stopped stocking bottled beer, cos it went out of date before anyone bought it. However, in the end, we forgave them, because they were such a fun bunch, and when we go back there next time, we’re taking our own beer. So there.

Another gig that popped up out of the blue –

Saturday August 9th – Live and Let Live, Frampton Cottrell
I played a biker do here once, years ago, with Suzi. Very nice pub. Apparently it’s a family-friendly day, with a bouncy castle and everything. Hopefully this time they’ll let Ben on it, as long as he promises to take his shoes and socks off first…

In the meantime – please note the following alert.

**COUNTERFEIT BAND ALERT**

It has been drawn to our attention that some unscrupulous ne’er-do-wells have seen an opportunity to cash in on our undoubtedly deserved live reputation, and have in fact been gigging in public trying to pass themselves off as the real Angel Up Front.

I myself was reluctant to believe such scurrilous rumours, until I was presented with the following incontrovertible photographic evidence…Therefore, this alert has been released to warn the general public of the presence of this “counterfeit AUF”, and we have compiled the following short guide to help you to distinguish between the genuine Angel Up Front, and these cheap imposters. Pay careful attention, because these impersonators are very cunning; however, there are few specific points for each band member which you can use to identify the fraudsters…

VOCALIST:
GENUINE AUF VOCALIST              IMPOSTER

As you can see, visually it is almost impossible to tell these two apart. Musically, both are first class vocalists, adept multi-instrumentalists, and are young, charming, and attractive. You won’t easily distinguish them. Let’s move on.

BASSIST:
GENUINE AUF BASSIST                   IMPOSTER Again, as you see from the pictures, this is a very cunning impersonation; both bassists have similar hair and eye colour. However, the eagle-eyed audience member will notice that the real AUF bassist sports a five-string axe; the imposter (who is presumably less clumsy and so doesn’t need the spare string) uses only four.

DRUMMER:
GENUINE AUF DRUMMER            IMPOSTER
Now, it’s getting a bit easier. The genuine AUF drummer on the left habitually wears a pink swimming cap to hide his long flowing locks. The imposter on the right has tried to achieve the same effect, but carelessly uses a battered black trilby instead. This should be a significant clue that the band you’re watching is not the genuine article.

GUITARIST:
GENUINE AUF GUITARIST             IMPOSTER Now, this is a dead give away. On the left, the handsome, dynamic, talented and charming genuine AUF guitar player. On the right, the burnt-out, ham-fisted inept has-been imposter. Anybody can see the difference – and this is the sure fire way to know if whether you’re looking at the real deal or not.

We hope the above guide is useful – we regret that we have to issue this kind of warning, but clearly there is such a demand for genuine AUF performances that some unscrupulous fraudsters are trying to cash in with the kind of counterfeit product described above.

Please note that the real Angel Up Front will be playing only at venues as described in these emails.

Keep ‘em peeled!

A