As Alan is away this week, this is a recorded message…
No band action this weekend, but the diva Lily was out twice; Friday, we rolled up at the Messenger in Swindon, a busy estate pub (that’s like a normal pub, but with a bigger boot), and were delighted to see our buddies Gina and Lucy roll up. Once a few lager-fuelled undesirables had been snarled away by the landlady, we were all settled in for a nice cosy fun night, and had to decide at the end whether to upset the punters, who noisily demanded more, or the landlady, who quietly asked to stop for the sake of her licence. We decided in the end to go with the landlady, because she was paying us. Rawk’n’roll sellout I know, but we live to gig another day!
The “another” day in fact being the following one.
Saturday night, and Lil’s gigging in Wootton Bassett, coincidentally just 30 yards from where Gina is playing her first gig after several months off.
Just before we start, I have a grumble at Lily because she is playing with her phone instead of concentrating on getting herself ready.
“Don’t you sass me”, she warns me.
We play the first number. The sound is a little thin, which turns out to be because a certain young lady has forgotten to plug her guitar…
Just to even things out, I horrendously cock up one of the songs later in the set and we have to restart it. Lily peers at me disapprovingly across the stage.
“Don’t you sass me”, I tell her.
The second set is marked by the Welsh drinking-and-chair-dancing contingent slowly morphing from “funny drunk” mode to “will you please piss off now” mode; at last, one of them finally falls over the monitors, which he has been threatening to do for a good forty five minutes. “That was a long time coming”, I cheerfully inform the gasping recumbent figure on the floor as he slinks away to count his bruises.
We finish, we pack up, we get paid, and there’s just time to slip down the road and grab a beer to watch the end of Gina’s set; and mighty fine it was too. Particularly if you enjoy the sight of topless sixty-year old women.
[Note: This was NOT Gina, on either count]. Lil was particularly impressed with the rendition of “Nelie the Elephant”.
“Can we do that one?” she asks. She’s only in it for the buns.
Coming up next weekend
25th July – Lily B at the Rolleston, Swindon Oh my gawd, it’s bloody Lily again. Still, we like the Rolly, and we know a good chippy just up the road.
26th July – AUF are playing a wedding. If you’re not invited, then you don’t need to know. If you are invited, you’ll find out anyway. Ben is quietly wondering if there’s some tradition he can invent and then put up on Wikipedia that means the bridesmaids get to take a bass player home afterwards.
27th July Inspire Day, Warminster Town Park This is a big ol’ family day out charity fundraiser, loads of bands and related musical stuff, with the aim of encouraging youngsters to take up playing music. We’re playing at about 4:00 I think; in keeping with the theme of the day, smallest offspring Jimi has formed a band for the occasion, who will be jumping up and playing a few tracks in the middle of AUF’s set. Unfortunately he was unable to find a “proper guitar player”, so he’s drafted me in; which at least means if they look like they’re going down better than AUF were, I’m in the perfect position to scupper their chances. And if he tries to fire me, he’ll have to walk home! That much has been thought through, but he’s still struggling to find a band name better than “Polar Bear Cheese Pirates From Outer Space”. Damned if I could come up with something that good.
Anyways, thassit for now
Square on
A